Your Child Is What You Teach (Parenthood)

Posted by Edu4sure team

parent child relationship


How many of us have come across a situation where those pretty little toddlers, do something really nasty and it leaves their parents completely stunned or sometimes even embarrassed in front of a lot of people?

Well, talking about myself, I do have seen some kids talking out inappropriately to their parents and doing something that is probably unacceptable. If we come to think about it, what is it that these kids are learning from? What are they exposed to, so much, that they aren’t really learning from what their parents have to offer instead these blooming little minds have a world of their own.

Remember ! You know your children better and can make them better than anyone else.

And trust me; this is not the world that we expect them to grow up in.

In the recent years, it has been noticed that parent-child relationship problems have become a blunder in building a healthy future for both the parents and the children.

I’d like to bring to notice that the very blessing called ‘Internet’ emerged in India in 1995 and by today around 40% of the world population has an internet connection. In 1995, it was less than 1%. The number of internet users has increased tenfold from 1999 to 2013.

No doubt that this blessing has sorted our lives so much that even the entertainment for our kids is just a click away. Recently, I witnessed one of my acquaintances asking her 3-year-old son to look for those rhymes over YouTube because all she was busy in was, “trying her new outfit for a party”. All I thought that very moment was “What this little soul would know about YouTube?”

But to my surprise, this child very conveniently unlocked his mother’s smartphone and got through YouTube and looked up for his favorite rhyme. Going through the same internet, I once found a meme that said: “8-year-olds these days have an iPhone of their own when I was their age I had a pink colored phone that played bhoomro bhoomro if pressed any key”. Well, many of us laugh it out at these memes and never give them a second thought; I mean how many of us have thought how true that one line statement is?

There is no doubt in the fact that the Internet widely provides a great amount of information on every topic that might pop into someone’s mind and may be way beyond that. But is it necessary for our kids to be exposed to every bit of that “information”? The answer is definitely an “NO”. There is a lot of adult content over the net which is definitely not for these young minds.

I hope you have got the gist of today’s blog.

What is it that we are lacking in? Where are we going all wrong? What can be done to improve the situation?

Well, I’m going to try my level best answering these questions. Here we have some of the parenting style tips that we feel are pretty necessary to be taken care of in the fast growing world today.

  1. BUILDING THEIR SELF ESTEEM:  Your child is a reflection of you in some or the other way. Your tone of voice, your body language, and your every expression is absorbed by your kids. Your words and actions as a parent affect them developing their esteem more than anything else. Always make sure to praise accomplishments of your child. It’ll boost their confidence and bring them a sense of belongingness and be capable of performing.

  2. THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK: Often out of rage, we say a few things that we shouldn’t have said and something like this happening in front of the kids is a huge mistake for sure. It is very important to choose words very wisely and to be compassionate. {Instead of this, “If you don’t finish your lunch, we are not going to the park” Try this, “When you’re finished eating your lunch, then we can go to the park”}.  If you are thinking how those two sentences make a difference, well, it’s the way they are phrased. The first one sounds a bit harsh whereas the second one will encourage the child to listen to what you just said.

  3. ACKNOWLEDGE THEIR MISTAKES: It is very important for us and for a child to know that everyone makes mistakes and there is no harm in doing so unless we learn from them. Make your child understand that mistakes happen for a reason and that you won’t stop loving them for their mistakes.

  4. BE THERE FOR YOUR CHILD: Always know that there are times when your child needs you more than anyone else does. Though it is a very busy world out there but nothing can justify the time that you “must” give to your child. “To be in your children’s memories tomorrow, you have to be in their lives today” – Barbara Johnson. Make sure you know how to manage your professional and personal lives together.

  5. DON’T MAKE IT A CAKE WALK: Though it is very important to be there for your child when (s)he needs you but that doesn’t mean to serve them everything on a silver platter. A child should know the meaning of "Earning" from an early age and shouldn’t take everything for granted. They should know how they can’t have anything and everything that they put a finger on.

  6. TREAT YOUR CHILD WITH RESPECT: "The best way to get a respectful treatment from someone is to treat them respectfully" You should give your child the same courtesies you would give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with your child is the foundation for his relationships with others.

  7. SHOW LOVE TOWARDS YOUR SPOUSE: Just as I said earlier, the way you treat others is what your child learns. Always show respect, affection and love towards your spouse in front of your children. Don’t let any of your issues out in front of them. It can leave a very negative impression on their minds.

  8. ESTABLISH RULES: Know that, you are not going to be around forever. Your child needs to learn management at an early age. If a child’s behavior isn’t managed when he is young, he will have a hard time managing himself when he is older and you are not around. Set rules to make your child believe in the very concept of “rules”. But at the same time, you should know how to avoid harsh discipline. Never raise hands at your child. Use words to make your child understand things. Children who are beaten up are more likely to be vulnerable to fights than children who are patiently taught about the right and wrong.

  9. BE CONSISTENT: “Consistent actions create consistent results” How would you feel if someone doesn’t stand by what they say? What if your boss promises you a raise and forgets about it a few days later? What if there aren’t any consistent rules to live by? Well, the answer to them is pretty simple, “it won’t feel good”. Similarly, it is very important for our kids to have some consistency to live by. If your rules vary from day to day in an unpredictable fashion or if you enforce them only intermittently, your child's misbehavior is your fault, not his.  Identify yours non-negotiable. The more your authority is based on wisdom and not on power, the less your child will challenge it. I’m sure you won’t want to push your child into a situation where he thinks “Why should I be serious about it, when my parents aren’t?” No, Right?

While it is true that there is no single definition or correct method of good parenting, a few good parenting tips could go a long way in ensuring the happiness of your child. I hope these helped you in some way. Do leave your comments below to let us know what you think about it? Till then,


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Aayushi Ahluwalia

Journalism Student, Blogger.

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